we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
