omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
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