Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
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