He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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