hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm bleeding and have questions
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
