You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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