I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we made out on top of his cat.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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