i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
