Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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