We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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