it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
