so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
