bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
