Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
