So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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