she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
