Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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