Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
