508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
