Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
