am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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