Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
