One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
