the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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