all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
