So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
well you can't waste a boner
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
