On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
