Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
