And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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