Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
