butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
