It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize