i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
