after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
