the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
