The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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