I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
