This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
