Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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