i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just found puke in my bra..
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
