Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize