Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
