I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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