Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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