i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There r osticjed everywhere
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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