he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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