you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
