Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
