so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I think your dad took our porno
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
