she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
