this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So vagazzling was a success
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
