:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
