As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
