Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
