just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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