How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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