he puts the penis in happiness.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My dick has a subreddit
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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