What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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