speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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