And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
