Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
